Weiss n' Burgers
by Derpitay
Summary: The team finds out that Weiss Schnee, heiress to the Schnee Dust Corporation, has never, once, in her entire life of seventeen summers had a burger. Babe, you know s**t's gonna go down. Infrequent updating. Friendshippy goodness.
1. The Revelation

She threw her hands in the air at her team leader. "For the last time, I haven't had a burger before! What's wrong with that? It's a piece of overglorified beef slapped in between some crummy lettuce, a poor excuse for cheese, and two loafs of what they call bread!"

"But Weiss, burgers are _everywhere_! How have you not tried _one_ in your life?"

"If I ever received such a drab item for a meal, I would throw it back in my servant's face. And they would _thank_ me for it." She crossed her arms with a 'hmph.'

"That has to be the most one percent thing I've heard in my life," Blake interjected from her bed, eyes flashing gold between the two participants in the argument, mirth betraying her voice.

"Rubes has a point, Weiss. Burgers _are_ everywhere," Yang piped up from her bed atop of her partner's, eyes reflecting the flashes and colors of a game on her scroll as she spoke.

"I don't see what the big deal is! So what if I haven't tried a greasy slab of meat!"

"It's not just that Weiss! You've never had the feeling of taking the first bite, the flavor taking control of your brain and mouth and mmmmmmm…. It's like the best thing ever…" Ruby reverted to her swooning self, closing her eyes as if she were savoring the taste right then and there.

"Ugh. That's ridiculous."

Snapping out of it, Ruby stomped her foot, childish pouting coming on. "It's not ridiculous! You just haven't experienced the sheer power of the burger!"

Weiss shook her head as she started to count on her fingers. "No burger could compete with the fine cuisine that I've had in my life. Caviar as a _snack_ , creme brulee for breakfast, baby lobster for lunch and chicken cordon bleu for dinner," Ruby gasped, but Weiss didn't seem to notice as she continued. "… No hunk of meat between some bread could ever compete with food of that caliber."

"You… you ate a baby lobster? How could you!? It was but a small, little one…" Her eyes were watering, lips trembling, and Weiss rolled her eyes.

"Oh, come on Ruby. You cry when people kill lobsters, but not when they kill cows for beef?"

She was still making little motions in the air as if she were holding the young lobster, but Weiss' question snapped her out of it. "Wha- They don't kill cows for beef!"

Yang froze up, but nobody in the room noticed as Weiss took on an exasperated tone. "What? Of course they do! Where do you think they get it, from the sky?" She yelled, the young girl's lack of worldly knowledge flustering at best.

Her innocence shined through. "Yeah!" Weiss twitched for a second, facepalmed, and Blake snickered behind her book. "That's where Yang says we get it! Right Yang!?"

Watery silver and fierce blue were both directed towards wide, awkward lilac, and they blinked a few times. "Uh… well Rubes… you see…"

Gunmetal went wide. "Y-Yang?"

"Uh… Weiss… Weiss is right. Beef doesn't actually... come from the sky, Rubes." Her puppy-eyes went even wider, and even Blake, who hated puppies, felt a twinge of pity for the girl. Yang tried to mend the wound. "Sorry?"

A few seconds of silence elapsed. But it wasn't to be, as Ruby broke the silence.

"UWAAAAAAAAAA!" She plopped down tushie first, and just… started bawling.

"Ruby Rose, stop crying! It's a fact of life, you…" She was about to continue her scolding when Ruby looked up at her with wide eyes, still watering. "... poor thing."

After another good thirty seconds, she stood up and pointed an index finger at her older sister, vaguely reminiscent of an accusatory position in a badly staged television show. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"You asked me when you were seven! You would've been scarred for life!"

"I still am!" She sniffed. "But they're so tasty…" Suddenly, she regained composure, and pointed the same finger. "Then what about fish? And pork? And, and, and lamb! Cute little lambs..."

Yang just pursed her lips. Suddenly, she jumped down from her bed, poked Blake with a finger, and jumped back up onto her bed. "I'm taggin you in, partner!" She said.

Blake just looked up as if she could see through the mattress. "I am _not_ going to explain to your sister about how we obtain our meat. That's your job, 'partner.'"

"Come on Blake, help a girl out! Please?" Ruby was starting to inch closer with each step with death in those gunmetal eyes, and Yang's voice went a bit higher. "Help?"

"Good luck," she said as she returned to her book.

"Yang… Tell. Me. The truth." Ruby was now at Yang's bedside, her small, diminutive shadow seemingly casting a longer shadow than it should over that side of the room.

"Ruby, please don't hurt me." Weiss was shocked by the sight of Yang being scared of Ruby; things usually went the other way around when it came to… _Well, anything else,_ she thought.

"If you tell me the truth, I'll spare you." A slight pause. "Maybe."

Yang gulped and opened up her mouth to speak, but Weiss interrupted her. "Ruby, meat comes from livestock that we kill for sustenance. It's as simple as that."

Grateful for her interjection, Yang thanked her with a smile and a nod of her head as she continued. "Yeah! Nothin' to be sad about, Rubes."

"So we kill the animals."

"Eyup."

"For stuff like beef and pork?"

"Eeeyup."

"... Where do they go when they die?"

Weiss was absolutely flabbergasted. First the girl didn't know that meat came from animals, and then she believed in some sort of magical afterlife for them? She facepalmed. "They don't go any-"

"They go to a nice place, with meadows full of green grass and blue skies." Blake spoke with her eyes on Ruby, watery gunmetal meeting gold. Weiss and Yang both opened their mouths to interject, but Blake kept talking. "It's nothing bad, really."

"Really? They go to a better place?"

"Yes, they do." Blake didn't mention the fact that she had just really made this up on the spot because this whole conversation was disturbing her concentration, but she put on a slight smile. "Trust me."

"I… I trust you." Ruby's smile met her own. "Thanks Blake."

"Yeah, no proble-" Ruby thwumped her in a hug, startling the cat faunus as she was stuck in the awkward position of still holding her book while Ruby was half-wrapping her arms around her body. Letting go quickly, much to Blake's relief, she stood back up again, noticeably fine.

"Alllrighty! Now that that's settled, let's get you a burger, Weiss!" The heir-apparent opened her mouth, but Ruby just dragged her out of the room in a puff of dust, door still swinging as Yang looked down at Blake, still reading her book.

"Ooookay, so why'd you lie to her?"

Blake shrugged. "You two didn't know how to handle the situation. So I came in."

"You just lied!"

"It was a _white_ lie. And I solved the problem, didn't I?"

Yang sighed, and jumped down from the bed. "Yeah, but still… if she finds out that _that_ was another lie, we might as well say goodbye to each other."

"I don't know how I will go on without you," she deadpanned. Yang rolled her eyes and went to the doorway. Upon seeing that Blake still wasn't moving, she asked her.

"You don't wanna come with?"

"No."

"It's gonna be great though! Think about it." She brought her hand in a wide arc. "Weiss Schnee, heiress to the Schnee Dust Corporation, gorging herself on the greasiest burger we can find. Imagine her reaction when she even sees it!"

That thought did entertain Blake, but it wasn't quite enough. She looked back down at her book, and Yang kept trying to convince her.

"I'll get you some tuna at the Rem-mar-"

"Well why didn't you say so?" She put a bookmark to hold her place, and got out of bed so quickly Yang wasn't sure if she teleported or not as she zoomed to Yang's side. "I mean, if we have the time then sure. I'll go," regaining her composure but visibly excited by the prospect of fish.

"I can play you like a fiddle, Blakey." Yang nodded her head as she nudged Blake out of the room, laughing all the while.

* * *

This'll be a short story, maybe two or three chapters long. I use this as a way to clear my mind of writers block most of the time, and I decided that this, by itself, makes an alright starting chapter.

'Sides, I love writing stuff like this. Just friendshippy goodness... why can't the world have more?


	2. Nyeh, look at me!

More random antics. More friendshippy stuff. More procrastination on Ren's Dare.

Ba-da-ba-ba-ba, I'm lovin' it.

* * *

"Ooookay Weiss! So, what kind of burger are you gonna' get?" She was walking along the sidewalk next to Weiss, whose posture reflected regality and royalty instead of energetic and bumbling. Vale was quiet on a Saturday morning, people not accustomed to the early-raise lifestyle that the students of Beacon led. The weather was a surprisingly comfortable spring warm, skies starting to shine vibrant blue as the sun became king for the day once more.

She feigned a show of being interested. "Hm… I think I'll have the 'I'd Like To Leave Now,' burger please."

Ruby frowned in concentration, obviously not detecting the ironic statement. "I don't think the place we're going has that burger."

She looked at her partner. "I was being sarcastic, Ruby." She shook her head at the young girl's blunder with their language's finer points.

"Oooh." Weiss resisted the urge to facepalm.

Behind them, Yang and Blake were trailing slowly as they watched the two bicker in front of them.

"Considering how much those two argue, it's a miracle we don't," Blake said.

"Well, considering the fact that you don't talk much at all Blakey, it makes sense in my _book_."

She looked at her blonde partner. "Was that another pun?"

"You betcha'."

"That didn't even make sense."

"Sure it did! You read books, so…" She stopped for a second, apparently forgetting where she was going with her sentence. "Books! Yeah!"

She shook her. "How do you even think of all these?"

"Honestly, I dunno. My dad wasn't even that much of a funny guy. It just… comes to me. Like, in a poof." She made a poof-ing motion with her hand. "One moment, and it's there."

Back at the front, Ruby was still talking about burgers that they offered, ignoring Weiss' pleas not to.

Counting them on her fingers and getting to the second hand already, Ruby was mouthing off. "Chicken and beef and fish and-"

Weiss waved her hands frantically. "Stop." Her partner opened her mouth to talk again, but Weiss just waved her hands even more. "Just, stop."

"What's wrong? Did you forget something at the dorm?"

 _My sanity,_ she thought to herself as she sighed. "Ruby, I understand that there are many types of burgers at this local dive that you're taking us to." Her partner looked offended at the fact that Weiss just called their destination a dive, but Weiss kept going. "But can you please hold off on them? Once I get there, I'm sure I'll be able to pick something that fits my palatte."

"It's not a dive, it's a professional diner!"

"There are no, 'professional,' diners."

"Sure there are! Once you get there, you'll be blown away."

"Of course. I wouldn't expect anything else." Crossing her arms while walking, she shook her head and looked the other direction.

"Come _on_ Weiss! You've gotta be willing to try new things sometimes! Get out of your comfort zone!"

"I never understood why people do that. It's called your _comfort_ zone for a reason."

"You do it so…" She frowned with her bottom lip slightly out, eyes narrowing in thought. Finding her answer, she lit up and spoke. "So you can make your comfort zone even larger!"

Weiss just raised an eyebrow. "That's ridiculous."

"No it's not! Your comfort zone with me and Blake and Yang was like, nothing! And then you got more… comfort zone-y with us!"

"Do you mean 'comfortable'?" _I'm like her thesaurus,_ Weiss thought as the words left her mouth.

"Yeah! You were really grumpy when I first met you."

"You ran into me, Ruby."

"... Okay yeah I ran into you, but still!"

"With containers full of dust."

"Okay, I get it! I ran into you!" She was about to keep talking, but Weiss was having fun toying with the conversation.

"You blew a tiny hole in the courtya-"

"OKAY!" She threw her hands up for a second. "So I messed up when I first met you." Blue eyes met silver. Weiss was going to continue her jabs by questioning the so-called 'meeting,' but she just smirked and kept walking to let her partner keep talking. "But you got over it! You got used to me and everyone else!"

Weiss didn't say anything to that, mainly because she was right. In the time that had passed, she's gotten used to her team, energetic, fiery, and calm. Her comfort zone with people, though she would never admit it aloud, was mostly non-existent before Beacon. Social interactions consisted of polite greetings and curties, the wave goodbye and the graceful dismissal.

"Yes, I guess I did get over it." Ruby beamed, but Weiss kept on the original topic. "But that doesn't mean that the same rule applies to food!"

"Wha-? Sure it does!"

"It's going to take a lot to convince me of that, Ruby."

Her leader paused, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk as Yang and Blake caught up from their position.

Blake just gave her a questioning look when Yang spoke up. "Sis? What's up?"

Ruby pointed a finger at Weiss, making her tilt her head as she spoke. "Weiss, if you don't like any of the burgers that I pick out for you, I will stop eating cookies for a week."

Everyone's eyes went wide as the silence filled their atmosphere. Several people walked past them wondering what was going on between the four-woman dynamic, but none questioned it aloud as they went about their business.

"Woah. Ruby's getting serious." Yang said. "Weiss, she's never made a challenge like that, like, ever." She blinked a few more times as Blake spoke after her.

"What were you two talking about?..."

Weiss found her ability to speak again, and returned the challenge. "Alright. Ruby Rose, I accept your proposition." She spoke in a haughty manner, and she would've puffed out her chest if it didn't lead to comic effect due to her biology.

Ruby kept at it, though. "But if you actually like the burgers, you have to promise to go with me to the amusement park next month, because _someone-_ " She glared at Yang, who just scratched the back of her head with an awkward smile. "- Doesn't wanna go with me. Deal?"

"Deal." As if it was a pre-planned meeting, they stuck out their hands and shook on it before they turned forward again and kept walking, Blake and Yang following close behind now as they eagerly listened to their friends bicker once more.

"You know, I think you'll really like the amusement park, Weiss! It's super fun."

"Hah. As if. I can't wait to see the look on your face when I eat your cookies right in front of your face."

"You wouldn't!"

A mischievous laugh bubbled that was a rare noise for the heiress. "Oh, just you wait and see. I'll prove to you that these burgers are nothing compared to my standards."

"Nyeh-nyeh! Nothing compared to my standards! Nyeh!" Ruby was making her best Weiss impression, flicking her wrist and changing her voice to go a bit higher.

"Excuse me? That's not what I sound like!"

"I'm Weiss! That's not what I sound li- eep!" Weiss poked her on the side below her ribcage, making her recoil for a split second. "Hey, why'd you do that?"

"Because you were getting annoying!"

"Nyeh! You were getting anno- nope!" Weiss tried to pull the same trick, but Ruby easily dodged it. "Hah! I'm too fast for you!"

"Grrr..." Ruby was already walking backwards, grinning at Weiss as she stomped forward. "Ruby Rose, you come back here this instant!"

"Nyeeeh! I'm Weiss! Listen to me call you ba- AAHHHH!" She screamed when Weiss summoned a glyph to charge up at her, and a cat-chasing-mouse game was on. Miraculously, Ruby kept the group moving forward while teasing Weiss at the same time, Blake and Yang watching from a safe distance.

"It's like a cat with a ball of yarn." She nudged Blake's shoulder with a open-mouth grin. "Eh?"

Blake just looked at her partner, the smallest hints of a smirk on her lips as she blinked and tilted her head in a shrug. "I think it's more like a laser pointer."

Yang made a dramatic gasp. "Blakey! A sense of humor!" She put a hand to her forehead and made a show of feinting, making Blake roll her eyes as she kept walking.

"Don't die, Yang."

"Aw, growing a soft spot for me already?"

"I can't handle these two alone," she said with that small smirk.

"Aaaand you're back to normal."

"RUBY! COME BACK HERE!"

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!"


	3. Dan's Diner

The door flew open with the frantic ringing of bells that weren't used to the trauma they just endured, clinking and jingling.

Ruby and Weiss got into the diner first, Weiss physically exhausted by her partner's antics while Ruby was still jumping around at the ready. However, her attention wasn't directed towards Weiss now, but her surroundings. It was only a few seconds more when Yang and Blake entered the room as well, visibly calmer compared to their two teammates with a laid back smile and a small smirk, jokes being traded between the more composed of the two.

The man behind the counter was even more surprised, seeing two customers bumbling indoors like they were running for their lives. However, when she saw the face of a specific black haired girl with signature red tips, he gave a wide smile and spoke in a booming voice as he made his way out of the semi-circle counter.

"ROSE! Little Rose, is that you?!" Ruby and Weiss immediately stopped their mini-quarrel, and both froze up. The former ran over to the man, exclaiming.

"DAN!" She swamped him in the best hug she could manage, but her arms weren't able to reach around his large belly. She settled for a half-hug, and beamed as Weiss just looked onwards, wondering who the man could be if he was able to call her partner, 'Rose,' so easily.

He looked up and somehow, his smile just got wider. "Hah! And you, Xiao-Long! C'mere!"

Yang was already on her way over, open-mouth grin her expression as she swamped both Ruby and the man known as Dan in a larger hug, eliciting a squeak from Ruby.

"Yang, you're- eek- crushing me…"

The man and the blonde both let go, letting Ruby to decompress from the pressure she just endured by two forces acting upon her. Not missing a beat, Yang spoke up with a rueful grin filled with memories.

"It's good to see you Danny! Looks like you've grown too!" She laughed, and Dan laughed with her, holding his stomach all the while. During the period when Yang, Ruby, and Dan were getting reacquainted with each other, Blake and Weiss were standing off in the distance as if critiquing the whole conversation.

"That 'Dan' guy really looks like Professor Port," Weiss mumbled to Blake.

She nodded in agreement. "The stomach's probably why."

It was true; the stomach that Dan was carrying truly was reminiscent of Beacon's local Grimm professor and folk tale extraordinaire.

"All he needs is the mustache and he's there," Blake said.

"Agreed..."

The three turned to the white and black colors on their team, Ruby gesturing them as introductions.

"And this is Blake and Weiss! They're on our team!"

The man smiled at them, mirth nearly radiating from his smile as he greeted them.

"Hello you two! Rose, which one did you say was your partner again? The nerdy one or the grumpy one?"

Both B and W took immediate offense to their assigned nicknames.

"Nerdy?"

"Grumpy!?"

Ruby's eyes went wide in embarrassment, and rose an index finger with an 'uh' to explain the situation before the portly man interrupted her.

"I'm guessing it's grumpy over there," he said as he pointed.

"Who're you calling grumpy? Do you know who I a-"

"Weiss Schnee, heir-apparent to the Schnee Dust Corporation, and loyal partner of a little Rose I know." He looked down at his long-time customer, and she greeted his gaze with a thankful smile that conveyed a message.

 _'Dear Oum thank you thank you thank you thank you.'_

Looking back up, he was pleasantly met with the raised eyebrow of a certain white-haired teen.

"So you know who I am?"

"Schnee, you shouldn't act so surprised. While Beacon allows a respite from the outside world of politics, I sadly do not reside in said academy. Media works wonders."

"I see."

Directing his attention to the bow-clad teen to her right, he spoke.

"I assume you are Xiao-Long's partner, then."

She nodded. "I am."

He leaned over slightly towards Yang, and brought his left hand over his mouth, palm facing out as he tried to make a stealthy whisper.

"You were right, she is quiet."

Blake was able to pick up on the words easily, but she didn't mind being called quiet; it was better than being called nerdy.

"Yep, that's Blakey in all of her kitty glory."

She rose an eyebrow. "You told him?"

"Blake, I trust Dan as much as I trust Ozpin, maybe even more. He's one of my Dad's best buds!"

Things clicked together in Blake and Weiss' minds. But if he was friends with Yang and Ruby's dad, who was a hunter…

Treating the man with a renewed reverence, Weiss changed her approach and changed it to elegant and respectful. She strode over to the man with the expert steps of an heiress, and extended her hand.

"You must be a hunter, then! I apologize for making such a bad impress-"

She couldn't finish her sentence as she was swallowed by two large arms pulling her in for a large hug, the rest of her words fading away into the surprisingly clean smock of the large man.

"Nonsense, Schnee! First impressions do not make a person! Time is the true judge."

The wise words didn't really process in her mind because she was being crushed by surprisingly strong arms, but when they finally relinquished she gasped a breath of sweet, sweet oxygen before responding.

"Thank… you."

The man regarded her with a smile as Yang punched Dan on the arm.

"I think you went a bit too rough on her, Danny."

"Oh, come on! You ladies are huntresses in training! Surely you can handle my classic welcome hug!"

"She's really fragile though…" Ruby regretted saying the words right as she said them as Weiss greeted her with an icy gaze, cold like the ocean that her eyes were framed after.

"Ignoring that, it's an honor to meet you, sir."

"Please, no need for the formalities." He waved them off, and looked at Blake, who had now made her way to Yang's side. "And you, uh... Shella…"

"Belladonna," she finished. "Blake Belladonna." Extending a hand, she was met with a large, crushing hug as well, almost eliciting a yelp at the sudden grasp as her head was forced to turn and see Yang chuckling at her. Blake just narrowed her eyes as she was let go, shaking her head.

"You're remarkably strong," she commented. Large arms tensed up for a moment as the diner's proprietor took notice of his own strength.

"I run this diner. Includes heavy lifting… and aura helps." He gave a hearty chuckle, and immediately everyone on RWBY could see more audible and visual connections their professor to Dan. "Keeps age from creeping up on me, at least for a bit more."

"Oh, come on you old geezer. You're not that old!"

"Old enough to complain about back problems, Xiao-Long! And that's enough for me."

A wave of laughter swept over the three as Blake and Weiss continued to watch this three-person dynamic unfold.

"This is so weird." Blake's eyes were still looking at the three laughing.

Weiss didn't even look at Blake to respond. "I agree."

After they were done with their mini-romp, the man backed up a step. "So, what brings you all here?"

"We wanted to have lunch here! It's been forever since I've had one of your steak burgers…" She was about to start drooling again before she remembered the more important reason for why she came today. "And because my partner…" She made a show of fake-whispering to Dan, and he played along with a lean and a smile. "She's never had a burger before!"

His eyes went wide, and his hand went to his slightly greying hair. "No way! Schnee, is this true?"

If the man wasn't wearing a smile as broad as daylight, she legitimately would've thought she was in trouble. "Yes?"

He grabbed her by her petite shoulders, and guided her to a seat.

"We're changing that. Right now." Relinquishing his grasp, he gestured for the rest of RWBY to sit down at the long, semi-circular elevated table. "Please, please, sit! Rose and Xiao-Long, the usual I assume?"

The sisters smiled and nodded.

"You betcha. It's 'bout time I had round two with that quad-stacker of yours…" She slammed her fists together, grin on her face belying the competitive tone she was setting.

Weiss and Blake looked at her with deer-in-headlights eyes.

"Quad-stacker?" They asked in disbelief.

"Oh, yeah! It's the best. Thing. Ever."

Weiss twitched an eye, thinking about all of the calories, carbs, and sodium that must've been loaded into that burger. "You're willing to eat something like that?"

"You betcha!"

"Xiao-Long here has tried to conquer my house special countless times, but to no avail. I used to be confidant in my skills to best her appetite, but… now? She's a grown woman!"

"Oh, you shouldn't worry about me, Dan. Rubes is the one who's developed the appetite."

Everyone knew that for a fact; Ruby seemed to inhale food- sugary mind you- in the same fashion that a certain orangette did with pancakes.

She just grinned. "I'll still have the steak burger, though, please."

"Of course, of course." He walked over to Blake, and brought his arm across his chest, propping an arm up on it. "First of all, your secret is safe with me, Belladonna. You've earned my respect and trust, mainly for looking after this firecracker over here." He gestured, and Blake looked over at her partner. The blonde just gave her a thumbs up back.

She smiled. "Thank you."

"So, how'd you like to try my newest invention? It's a barbequed salmo-"

"Yes please!" At the mere mention of fish, Blake (literally) popped up, ears and head going up at the simple word. "I mean, uh, that, uh, sounds good, thanks."

He gave a knowing smile and laugh, slower compared to the ones he shared with Yang and Ruby. "Alright then. That'll be comin' right up for you."

All that was left on the team's order was Weiss, who was busy looking at a menu that she found next to her spot. Ruby was still giving her an earful when Dan made his way over, looking on at the energetic red-tinted brunette give her silver-white friend recommendations rapidfire as she pointed out burgers.

"Ooh! The bacon cheeseburger looks good! Oh, wait. You said you didn't want onions… but I think Dan could fix that! Hey Dan, could you tak-"

He held up his hands in a placating manner, and Ruby slowed down. "Whatever the Schnee would like, I can accommodate just as easily." Turning to the heiress, he put on that same, warm smile. "So, will you be ordering, or will she?"

"Ruby will order for me."

"You're in good hands, Weiss, trust me!" She closed the menu in front of Weiss' face.

"Hey!"

Passing it back to Dan, who put it under the counter, she just got in close and tilted her head slightly, looking left and right as if she were undergoing some ludicrous deal, hand planted down as if cementing the words.

"She'll have the special," Ruby said.

Dan gave a smirk and a knowing nod. With that he went off with an exaggerated bow that made Ruby giggle, Weiss being given respite from her partner's babbling as the redhead turned to Yang for conversational pleasure. The diner itself was set up in such a way that seating was mainly focused around the semicircle, and multiple monitors lined the overhead. Occasional booths were aligned against the window, allowing onlookers to peek inside and see the works of food that were on the tables. The setting gave an overall homely feeling, and even though the stools that they were sitting on offered non-existent lumbar support, she compensated for leaning on the counter with her elbows.

A sudden sizzling noise was heard, and instinctively she looked for the source. It was coming from the kitchen behind the door that Dan had passed through, and immediately a smell wafted out of the room as the sound hit her ears.

Even Blake, who would take fish over other meats any day, had to admit that it smelled heavenly.

Taking a deep sniff in, Ruby grabbed the bottom of her stool and spun a few circles with her head back and eyes closed, the smells taking her back years.

Yang propped up her head on the palms of her hands, elbows planted as she closed her eyes as well, taking in a deep breath of the aromatic beef sizzling on the grill.

Blake, with her faunus senses, could smell out individual ingredients and seasoning, cumin, salt, pepper, and...

 _Sugar?_

While Blake was contemplating why exactly she smelled something familiar to Ruby's daily breakfasts, Weiss was busy testing the air around her.

 _It certainly does smell good_ , she thought. _Much better than I expected…_ Shaking her head, she tried to remember her true purpose for being here. _But I'm here to prove a fact. I'll show Ruby that burgers are no more than over glorified pieces of seasoned meat._ She took another breath, and the aroma only got stronger. _But it smells so good…_

"So, Weiss!" Her voice was chipper as always, but she was wearing a smile that didn't bely happiness; it was a grin that Yang always wore when she caught Ruby eating cookies in her bed, raised brow and everything. "Whaddya think of this place?"

Remaining as neutral as possible, she spoke. "It's quaint."

"So you don't hate it?"

"... No."

"Alright!" She pumped a fist in the air. "One point to Ruby Rose!"

"I hardly think that counts as a point, Ruby. I haven't even tried my meal yet." Crossing her arms, Ruby just kept at it with that same smile.

"But you don't hate this place, soooooo… that has to add up to something, right?"

Weiss rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

Ruby took that as a sign of early victory, and turned back to Yang.

"It's working!"

"See? I told ya!" They shared a fist bump.

Weiss leaned over on the counter. "I can hear you two."

They stuck out their tongues at her at the same time, and she just turned back to her own attention, looking at her nails as the sisters continued their conversation.

"Yang, do you think you can finish it this time?"

"Oh, definitely. That burger's going down."

"I wanted to ask you about that, Yang." Gunmetal and lilac went to gold. "What's... in that quadstacker?"

"Oh, everything that's needed to make a burger heavenly..." Blake rose an eyebrow. "No, no fish."

She visibly deflated. "I'll pass on trying that, then."

"Daww, wanted to share?" She nudged her with an elbow.

"I was planning on stealing some bits when you weren't looking."

"Aaand back to normal." Blake gave that same smirk, only a glance of lip curled upwards in a smile.

"I think I'll be okay with my burger, though. It's been forever since I've had one anyway." Before Beacon, her diet mainly consisted of stolen Atlesian military rations or game from the wild.

"Even better!" Ruby had her fists together in front of her chest. "A long time away from burgers only makes them tastier!" She looked at Weiss, who was still busy looking over her nails. "Which means that _you_ ," she jabbed a finger, "will find this burger to be heavenly."

"I doubt that."

"You won't doubt it when you're at the amusement park with me later."

"Oh, really?"

"Yep! You're gonna love this burger so much, you're gonna..." She trailed off. "Uh... love it?"

"Smooth, sis."

* * *

Haven't uploaded something in a while, I wanted to get this out there. Besides, this is like my little hideaway when I'm stuck on writer's block. Random updates are random. Call me unprofessional; this is probably the worst ending to a chapter I've done in mah lyfe, but hey.

whatev's, man.

also, who found the little Ren's Dare easter egg? hue...


	4. Dan's Filler (Part 2 of Dan's Diner)

A flick of the wrist, and the patty flipped. Landing with a resounding sizzle, he grinned. To his side, he had already finished Ruby and Blake's burgers, sitting pretty in a small fire-dust powered heater that would ensure they retained their heat _and_ wouldn't make the bread go stale; it was an old machine, but it did its job.

Outside of his kitchen, he could hear the smalltalk that Team RWBY was currently engaging themselves in, along with the occasional ringing of the door that signified the entrance of a new customer. Waitresses wordlessly exited from their break room and went out to the dining area with a smile on their face and menu in hand already, and Dan looked up to check the time: eleven thirty.

* * *

"How's it comin' along in there, Danny?" Yang hollered towards the door, aroma nearly drowning their senses by now if it hadn't already. Blake had to resist drooling when she smelled that salmon grilling, but Ruby had already started to drool much to Weiss' ire.

"It's peterin' along, Xiao-Long! A few more minutes and I'll be right out!"

"Sounds good! Make mine awesome, alright?"

That same, resounding laugh boomed through the walls and door. "I wouldn't do anything else, Xiao-Long!"

Another sizzle was heard, just one of many by now, and Yang turned to Blake on her right.

"Sooo, Blakey. Couldn't help that you had quite the dreamy look on your face. What's up?"

She didn't have to lie, but her enhanced sense of smell made her speak in shorter verses. "Faunus senses. Fish. Smells good."

Yang just snickered, shaking her head. "Jeez Blake. Remind me that if I ever need you to get outta bed, I'll just fry a piece of fish."

She sniffed the air again. "Okay."

Meanwhile, Ruby and Weiss were still chatting along to the blonde's left, with Ruby leading the conversation and Weiss looking up from her nails from time to time.

"-you have for snacks, usually?"

"Anything I wanted, really."

"Really? Anything?" Ruby's mind flashed to endless piles of cookies, envisioning her diving into a pool full of the sugary, chocolate filled platters of-

"Ruby, please, clean up after yourself." Weiss tossed a napkin at her face, and Ruby nearly fell out of her stool as she took the brunt of the napkin's force to the face. Realizing that she was drooling again, she quickly wiped the corner of her mouth. "That's the fourth time today," Weiss chided.

"I drool for a righteous reason, Weiss! Especially if I drool for a burger!"

"It's not sanitary if you drool all over the table, though."

"... Well, I didn't get any on the table..."

"That's right. You got some on my sleeve." Weiss flared her wrist and flicked it in the air just to get the wrist cuff some motion, Ruby remembering the incident from a few minutes ago on how she first smelled her own burger being made. The familiar scents of peppers, sea salt, and his secret ingredient led her to slobber _just_ a bit.

"I said I was sorry..." She put on those same puppy eyes as she tilted her head down, fully aware of the cuteness of the expression as well as the power it held over all except her family.

Weiss didn't make eye contact, but she still caught that look out of her peripherals and rolled her eyes. "It's not a big deal." Ruby smiled at Weiss' relaxed tone of voice; at the beginning of the year Weiss would've released all hell on Ruby just for drooling in her mere presence. "I'm just saying, it's unbecoming for a young woman such as yourself to just... drool at the sight of a slab of meat."

Ruby pursed her lips. "It's not just a slab of meat, though!"

"Until I'm proven wrong, I will call it that."

"Urghhh! Weiss, stop denying the power of the burger! You can't tell me that the stuff he's making in there doesn't smell..." She took another sniff, and Weiss grasp on her napkin tightened just in case if she had to throw it. "Awesome..." Luckily for the both of them, Ruby didn't drool.

"Many things can smell wonderful but taste terrible. Cinnamon powder, for instance."

"Well, duh! No one's gonna straight up eat cinnamon! Unless you're like those stupids on RemTube..."

Weiss looked at her and rose an eyebrow. "Someone actually had the gall to eat cinnamon powder? On video?"

"Wait, Weiss, have you never seen the cinnamon challenge?"

In typical ice-queen fashion, she had to add a teeny insult at the fact that she's never seen it. "Of course not! I actually spend my time studying instead of searching up ridiculous videos of people making poor life decisions."

At this point, however, the jabs that Weiss made were taken as all but normal by Ruby, and she just kept going on, unfazed. "It's when someone takes a teaspoon of cinnamon powder, and they try to swallow it in a minute! And they can't drink water."

Weiss shut her eyes, shook her head, and opened them again. "What? That's ridiculous! Who in their right mind would do that? There are numerous safety hazards to that! They could choke!"

Ruby just shrugged. "I mean, it looks pretty funny when they do..." Ruby straightened out her back and looked at Weiss, perking up. "You wanna see it?" She started to take out her scroll.

The heiress shook her head and her hands. "Please, no. I'm afraid I would lose brain cells from watching."

"Aw, but Weiss! I need something to pass the time, and you're not making this easier!"

"Excuse me?"

"I mean, uh, uh, great weather outside right?"

"... Mhm."

An awkward moment of silence passed between them as Blake and Yang were still chattering about fish versus beef as a better source of protein.

"So..." Ruby started.

Weiss wasn't looking at her nails anymore, and was instead crossed-legged on her chair, hands folded on the counter. "So."

"... Whatcha wanna talk about?"

"Preferably something that's not remotely close to burgers."

"Oh, okay, I can do that."

Another few moments of silence elapsed.

"Uhhh... So, uh, what do you, uh, think Team JNPR's doing right now?" She added her usual cheery rise and fall of intonation at the end of her question.

"Most likely doing something more productive than sitting at a diner."

* * *

 **Over at Beacon...**

"NORA, LET GO!"

"IT'S MINE! MINE!"

"Nora? Please?" The calm redhead rose her hands in a placating manner as she tried to calm the bizarreness of the situation down.

"Let her be. It will pass." The calm voice of reason from Lie Ren shone through... for a few seconds.

"YOU SAID IT WAS MY TURN, JAUNE! NO TAKE-BACKSIES!"

"NORA, I SAID..." Nora attempted to grasp for the comic, but Jaune was still using his height to his advantage, raising the magazine high above his head. "FIVE MINUTES! FIVE MINUTES, OKAY? THAT WAS LIKE, THRE- OWWW! MY TOE!"

She grabbed her prize. "THE X-RAY AND VAV IS MINE! MINE!"

Pyrrha just shook her head and chuckled while Ren just continued cleaning his weaponry, Jaune still bouncing on one foot as he clutched his right foot, a very visible boo-boo on the outside as it shone with white light, aura going to work on the stomp.

* * *

"Yeah, probably." Ruby said the words with a hand on her cheek, elbow on the table as her palm puffed out her face.

* * *

 **Ugh... it's been too long since I've done something with this. But this has been sitting in my 'to publish' list for a while, and I think you guys deserve a little more, no matter how... 'little' it is.**

 **Much love, much love~**


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